Commentary 1 : Perfect Strangers

I read a lot of blogs and sometimes the sheer number of things to go through overwhelm me. So when the onslaught of new entries is too much, I read just the titles and maybe the first sentence or two of each to see which ones I'll read fully. A few days ago I was doing just that and ran across this : Title : I Speak Jive First Line : "Oh, stewardess ... "

I felt a warm glow spread through me as I realized that the writer was at least in some way a kindred spirit, another fan of the movie Airplane. This type of thing has happened to me countless times on-line; reading a blog entry or a post in a forum that reveals to me a person who shares my tastes, attitudes or philosophies.

I have made quite a few friends this way. In the 5 or so years that I've been on-line socially I've made connections that are in many ways deeper and closer than those I have made with the people I've met face-to-face in the same time period. However, when I tell people about my on-line friends I get strange looks. And am asked, incredulously: "On-line? You are so close with people you met on-line?"

Every time I hear this or its equivalent I feel like howling with frustration. No matter what I say the reaction always seems to be the same : relationships that start on-line are somehow inferior.

I try to explain that these connections are predisposed to be more successful and lasting than those that begin face-to-face. Consider, the pool of potential friends; on-line everybody who's there socially, whether blogging or frequenting forums and message boards, are there to interact, to make a connection with other people whereas in the real world this pool is seriously limited by proximity; people at work, at the gym, at the library, at the coffee shop around the corner or those living in the neighborhood. There's also the added disadvantage that none of them are wearing a badge saying "I want to get to know you".

Another aspect of on-line superiority as an environment for making friends is the communities. Knitting, technology, soap operas, Leonardo DaVinci's inventions and the latest episode of Lost all have at least one community devoted to them, each having members from all over the world, in some cases numbering in the thousands. The real world simply can't compete!

Yet incredulity remains but I have to ask people to wonder : where is it more likely that an interaction turn into a connection that then turns into a friendship? On-line, where the folks involved already share common interests as well as the fact that all are looking to meet people and have people get to know them or face-to-face where the only thing the people have in common is their zip code and no one knows who's looking for what in an interaction?

Yes, I have made and will continue to make friends on-line and for those that still continue to say : "Surely, you can't be serious." I have only one answer : "Don't call me Shirley!"